Back to the days when…

So it’s safe to say that Covid-19 has well and truly appeared from those tiny little cracks in the pavement between the paving slabs, you know the ones when you were little, you HAD to jump over as you couldn’t possibly step on them. It hasn’t broken our backs this time but left us feeling broken, lonely, afraid and digging deep financially. This last year has been one of the toughest years any of us will have or ever have had to endure.

Having said that, we all know how rubbish it has been, and without trying to sound like one of those annoying people who is happy ALLLLLL the time (ok….I’m just jealous I’m not one of those people) I do feel like there have been some beautiful moments that one day I will look back on and be so grateful for – I mean, the lockdown muffin top won’t be one of those but you win some, you lose some…lets hope I lose that bit.

Let’s start with the bits that we have found hard first…..

So our small business, like many has massively been affected. We were able to open for a few short but busy months with lots of measures to help keep everyone as safe as possible, but unfortunately a couple of busy months doesn’t nearly make up for the majority of the year being shut and who knows how much longer this will go on for?… as I type this still in a lockdown.

The small grants we gratefully received, helped, but didn’t even cover a small amount of the bills let alone support our family for life’s necessities such as food, house bills, mortgages etc. – when setting up your life you live within your means (well we try to!) and that is based on your income and when that dramatically changes, and you have no control over altering or helping the situation, that’s when you feel like you are up the creek without a paddle.

It goes without saying that as a family we have also found it incredibly challenging. There is a long list, but I would say the top three words that best describe the last year for our family have been: Isolated, concerned and frustrated. Having said all that, we are all still here, driving each other crazy with home schooling and the children seemingly making it their mission to trash the house, whilst arguing with one another, as soon as it is looking half respectable again but that’s the point – we are here, we are plodding on and getting through it, albeit it in what looks like a bombsite most of the time, but we are surviving!

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So yeah the good bits….I seem to have completely forgotten them now after that lovely piece of depressingness – not even a word but I don’t care….we’re in a pandemic, you can do anything you like, apart from; mix with anyone outside your household, send your children to school, get married, see your friends or family, shop without a mask, have your child christened, go to the pub….Ok I will stop!

So I feel that as ‘good’ Lockdown’s go, Lockdown 1.0 was my fave. What wasn’t to love – time off work, no e-mails to answer, no pods to clean or toilets to unblock – bliss (apart from the whole no money thing), the best weather I can remember, long summer walks, cold beers in the garden, finding a love of gardening AND I even found myself resembling that of THE Queen of gardening – Charlie Dimmock, ok maybe with a bra though.

I look back and have such happy memories, oddly. We spent real time as a family and my eldest child was only in pre-school so the pressure of home schooling wasn’t there either – we basically spent our time outside. I did find one draw back though, which was the children became slightly, let’s say, feral. One fine example that pops to mind is when Ella said to me ‘I am just going to have a wee outside before I come in’ – don’t judge, I mean who doesn’t love a garden wee?!

On that note I think I will end this, but I am going to leave you with a quote from one of my favourite books this lockdown – The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse ‘‘I can’t see a way through’ said the boy. ‘Can you see your next step?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Just take that’ said the horse.’’ – We got this, just take your next step.